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stillborn

by soft idiot

supported by
pablo2541
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pablo2541 Catchy hooks, heartbreaking lyrics. Fantastic set of songs! Favorite track: Brother, Pt. 2.
uncleben85
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uncleben85 You should include more unclean vocals. So. Good. Favorite track: Love Like.
Andrew Rutledge
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Andrew Rutledge Lyrical depth, great instrumentation, and catchy bedroom pop all form to make this a cohesive DIY release with excellent production. Favorite track: Brother, Pt. 1.
Onrad
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Onrad Really Good Music that
Comes from the Heart and Soul. Surprised me how Good it Really is. Relatiable Favorite track: Carpet Bugs.
/
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1.
everybody is having fun without you you're alone in your room smoking weed to figure out if you belong here in the scope of everything your life repeats itself you are somebody else i wanna feel the same i wanna feel love like you know my name, i wanna feel better but everyday i'm alone in my room smoking weed
2.
Geography 02:32
i hope this music means something to you cuz i don't feel it anymore i hope the flowers grow up to your teeth i hope you get everything you're looking for and i tried being cool and i try to be nice but living like the living christ don't matter much when all you want is validation in blood red cups i hope conviction means something to you i hope the scar on my lung heals soon if happy is a state of mind i am bad at geography, i can't find it it floats above me like wisps of smoke that flow from my fingers in goldfish bowls in a desperate attempt to put out flames i have lost but am trying to find again
3.
i don't know where you are envisioned as a star it floats above and it stays in touch and it don't care who you are i think that i need drugs but i think i'd take too much so my fingertips feel like cement like my mother's decent push somewhere far from here far from the tears you've been crying, i can tell like some child that you held you're that child now you're my brother in the clouds he died so i was born all in circles like the world around the sun the bruises on her neck they fade into her chest she's not comfortable with you around it's just what you'd expect the child's growing feet my brother bares his teeth her stomach swells and sweetly smells of honeydew on leaves somewhere far from here with the ocean to your ears so if you're crying i can't tell if you need something yell like my brother did in his ghostly punishment he lives with me now and he dances on the sound of her voice she didn't want this dream but now she's got no choice as the weight in her belly drags her down
4.
High 00:39
i am higher than i wanna be i wanna be alone when you die do you really die who'd wanna be alone do i love what i really love do you believe in love does my time mean anything do you believe in time
5.
Get Hurt 03:29
austin gave a book of matches that was hanging around at his house on the couch i was freaking out i let them up watched them burn down through my frame and all the while all my feelings all the time the same i think i should give up drinking give up smoking weed give up talking give up eating give up what i don't need cuz i will get hurt no matter what we do tonight and i appreciate your concern i just wanna feel alright but i get hurt no matter what
6.
Love Like 03:22
i wish you loved me like the fog cradled bowls and alcohol i wish you loved me like i did feigned interest and indifference wish my face weren't sore to see wish that i could hear you speak in a tone that would imply love like a streetlight tearing skin off of my lip i wanna die like this thinking about you before i sleep your softness rises from underneath take it easy different than you would normally you're so cute when you're high i wish i were you cuz you're the girl i wanna be and an ideal you'll never meet hanging out with our friends there are no means there are no ends take it easy different than you would normally and you're so cute when you're high i wish i was too
7.
Carpet Bugs 03:04
i never wanted to stay in bed all day thinking of the plans i made and how they all fell away the way that i think of myself is the way that others think of me and hanging out with my friends doesn't feel like where i should be and calming down becomes of little possibility fleeing social situations it always feels like i should leave all these circles crashing down i wanna lose what i had found endlessness won't add up to what i thought i find myself wishing i could remember fewer of my nights when they all feel the same slowly slipping by outside at night i don't ever wanna go home i don't wanna feel no more love i don't wanna be alone and calming down is impossible and i am laying on my floor waiting for the carpet bugs to come alive and eat me up and i will crawl between the cracks of sidewalk that the plants grow out and i will die just i lived covered in dirt beneath the ground walking outside at night my brother and his lonely life hanging up overhead i heard every word he said
8.
The Spines 03:17
if i had my way my nails would be perfectly black i would live in the grass and keep my eyes pointed up through the trees and the spines that ring around the sky and mirror our space and my upward pointed eyes but all i feel is pity for myself i was never one to admit that i need help so now i'm freaking out sitting on the couch in the living room of my friends' house it's hard not to look at your dress pulling up and the rows of diamonds that live inside your mouth you're sitting on the couch but you exist in my head in the way that i want you in a way i wish i was dead but all i see circles crashing round and bridges i built between bodies falling down i've got some texts i am too afraid to read from someone who just wants to help me
9.
Man Made God 03:16
man made god in his image and i created you the same from clay to skin your flesh sits to dust you'll go from dust you came its not what i expected of you just burning matches right down through your frail frame it stops the strain of gravity on your poor brain man made cosmic family just like the one in your old home but mom got sick methamphetamine now she's afraid to be alone its not what i thought it would be some terrible god i think i can see myself reflected down to me earth's so close to heaven you move as if you're alive but there is nothing inside you're taking a drink to avoid eye contact with your friend you move as if you're alive if only you hadn't died you're taking a drink to avoid eye contact with your friend
10.
from the bathroom floor i feel so small would you hold my hand did you watch me fall lately i can't get through a night without rethinking my whole life and the only thing i know for sure is the tile feels cool on my skin
11.
brother can't you see since you've been gone i've losing all my teeth since you've been gone i can barely get to sleep and my dreams don't exist anymore brother can't you hear your own crying i could swear it hit my ear your body still but your face so filled with fear you do not exist anymore i told myself once that i wouldn't get caught up in anybody else's life when this endless won't suffice oh i'm so scared to die hiding in the dark in the light girlfriend don't make a sound will you still love me when there's no one else around will you still love me if i lose what i had found and the cycle repeats in your brain girlfriend don't look so sad its just that i don't love you like i once had now you're crying i know everything is bad and i can hear the sound when i sleep i told myself once that i wouldn't get caught up in other people's lives when this endless won't suffice oh i'm so scared to die like my brother did before i was alive i wanna live inside the light i wanna feel like i'm alive i wanna leave my brother behind cuz he's never coming back he was never here in fact just a ghost with nowhere left to haunt

about

this album is about being born, dying, friends, love, addiction, anxiety, nothing, letting go,

credits

released March 11, 2017

most things by justin roth

except:
mike whalen played bass on "Carpet Bugs" and "Man Made God"
cullen quinn played drums on "Man Made God"
sagar vasishtha played harmonium on "Brother, Pt. 2"
liam mckenna played trumpet on "Geography" and "Brother, Pt. 2"
kennedy freeman and hannah baronak sang the harmonies in "brother, pt. 2"


recorded between september 2016 and february 2017 at the kennel and sagar's bedroom

thanks pat, ted, casey, maeve, bert, and everyone who played or sang on this album

sock puppet records 2017
spr 001

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about

soft idiot Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

philadelphia indie rock folk and etc.
the world gets smaller

photo by vito scutti

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