1. |
The Living Birth
02:03
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the doctors put me in a box
they had to keep an eye on my lungs
they swelled and swelled, threatening to burst
i coughed up sand they kept in a jar
until that jar broke
and spilled out all the rocks that would become my home
all before the snow fell down
then my arms and legs started to grow
i found that i could walk on my own
and i saw a glow fly out my chest
my muscles flexed to move me behind
until my legs broke
no i lag behind the light that might contain my heart
its on another coast
or maybe somewhere else i couldn't know
(out among the snowy score of clouds that blow and ache to destroy me)
all i know
i was born
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2. |
Concession
01:17
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lets move away
lets get married with some kids
lets make mistakes
we've got nothing left to give
you will die today
no matter how you were alive
there's nothing to say
you will die
and the worst part
you know it was coming
you would've never guessed today
and the best part
it's all gonna go away
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3. |
Acura
02:01
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did i break your heart?
did you stain my sleeve?
did you cry and let your makeup run all over me?
and out my eyes
with all your dreams
of getting young and losing touch with everything
you're different now
i couldn't know
what seems like light gets lost and tangled on the floor
what happens when
all of the sand
wears down all the rocks to make more sand?
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4. |
Blizzard/West Coast
02:36
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and from my bedroom i heard the snowfall
pat against the window
and by the morning it blocked the doorway
i pulled a blanket over my head
i want for nothing, i miss a person
glowing soul i shut you off
you are still shining, you float above me
warmth i want won't come through a phone
we built a house up, i want to live there
glow among the city lights
you want it shapeless, i built a circle
i will hide there deep inside
you took off early, you graduated
to a distant west coast town
endless existence in photo albums
and the west coast waves where i will drown
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5. |
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don't worry about me though you know i worry
approaching acceptance, i could wetly smile
i'll sigh
i saw a songbird but i couldn't hear it
far out past my window and i left my apartment
back to the house where i spent
summer morning-waking
stretching into daylight
something unbecoming
the moon out in the daytime
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6. |
The Drowning Waves
02:40
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what exists there beyond the ocean?
is it worth swimming to?
is it worth drowning for?
crossing seas with hands and feet
my long limbs could move me for hours
i will reach out
and touch the water
you say a horseshoe crab struck your knee again
and left a bruise to stay behind
you let your body drift out to the sea
caught in some great current now
the drowning waves like fruit to fill your mouth
i only let myself down
now there is no "you" now
on any coast
i am wading up to my chest
i thought i saw you there
in the wave's crest
billowing i've seen before
i rise up and am forced down by a wave
in drowning waves my life will end
off the coast of a place i've never been
i only let myself down
now there is no "me" now
on any coast.
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7. |
Blanket Snow
03:03
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waiting on a cell phone buzz
a satellite to lift me up
and a long to believe
in something so much bigger than me
underneath a blanket snow
i expect to hear your call
but i cannot believe
in something that's never happened to me
i'm not made of rock
i am just a man
sitting in a freezer
its dark and i am cold
shut in and alone
i'll never see your light
your little glowing soul
i'm sorry
you exist above the ground
immature and aging now
a forever pale blue sky
you live as if you already died
i am lost among the snow
billowing like your soft clouds
you're the blizzard, you're the ground
i'm the endless wind that blows them around
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8. |
Wood Tick
01:54
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i heard something in the ceiling
i thought i saw you in the surf
i felt sickness early morning
i felt bad for what its worth
and every bit i left behind
it sinks into the earth
well i am gone for good
swear its crawling in the roof
and while cooper killed a wood tick
i was laying in my bed
i heard footsteps on the ceiling
and leafy wind that blew outside
and i felt overwhelming fear
oh i dont wanna die
at least not alone
at least not right here
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9. |
||||
i put a snowman in the freezer
to hold on to the cold
and the numbness (kind and loving)
would gently stroke my hair
through my shirt it softly touched me
my heaving chest pulls tight
but i am sitting wrapped in blankets
for four or five days, i swear i haven't slept a night
i thought i saw you there
in my waking long for sleeping
the tv hums, i'm scared
of always losing, never finding
these things slip out my hands
like my housebound snowman melting
the wind whips the windows which rattle and shake in their frames
the lock is broken, the door blows open
the shutters clatter and collapse on the ground
and through the windows, warm and moving
light melts the snow, soaking everything with rain
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10. |
Giant Ghost
02:33
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precious hand to tiny heart
a tiny breath escaped my lungs
when i woke i felt the same
i am restless, i am infinite
the rain came down with bitter force
i thought it'd sweep away the car
eyes shut tight, i'd wait it out
the bitter gray and snowy fog
it's not the last time i saw you there
but you were the biggest you'd ever be
the giant ghost surrounds
the tall teacher stands before me
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11. |
Barely Exist
02:43
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what do you do?
do you love?
are you happy?
i am dreadful with all my long limbs
reaching out
to touch your skin,
do you pull away?
back into dark
do you fear the sun?
and it's cold light- the frigid shine
on your neck
(bare in the breeze)
barely it blows
it rustles the leaves
dead on the ground and green on the trees
i shift my eyes,
i strain to see
my hand pass through
all your veins
like i am a ghost! like i barely exist
and i don't know if i do
i don't know about you
and the awful things i think about,
i think you think them too
and all the people fly away
and all the ghosts come to stay
haunting softly in your bed
blinking, coughing in the the bright moon's heat-
until you fall asleep.
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12. |
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when all the rocks erode away
your chest is like a desert.
you're coughing up sand
trapped in your lungs
put there by blood
sent from your heart.
you're birthing grains up from nothing.
becoming the god that placed the rocks.
i loved you
you filled my mouth-
shut up my words when i could not.
my heart stopped and my lungs shriveled up,
and my eyes shut.
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13. |
I Was Born in a Hospital
03:04
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and i woke in the kitchen,
my foot further out the door.
i can see through the cracks
some blurry-nether fury-weather
dark, amoebic universe.
i was born in a hospital,
teeth all stained and white.
and the trees out the windows
spread out their branches and shatter the glass
to shed the snow like skin.
i've grown scared of my body
with it's monolithic loom.
on the verge of collapse
and crush and clatter some cracked bone structure
and leave the skin to float above.
pinkly forward on a bed somewhere in 2015-
"does life lie in the body, the mind?
the mother, the child, or somewhere in between?"
-my heart and your soft skin.
i was born in a hospital
and i'm never going back.
i will die among branches,
the trunks of trees and windblown leaves
that push me through
the criss-crossing carbon
and chaos un-horrible!
sleepless i (crying-eyed) drove to the hospital-
greeted by sliding doors, chaos and nothingness,
i screamed to nothing behind the reception desk!
and i was returned but a whisper.
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14. |
The Drawing Circles
03:34
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we tied our hands behind the trees
and waited for the moon.
we pressed our bodies cheek-to-cheek
and dreamed until we were consumed.
white flakes of snow upon your skin
dissolve and melt within.
(i will find the words if it takes a year.)
i'd give it all to have that back.
i'd give it all to have you back.
hidden back behind headlight-shine,
your belly cold and open lies,
i thought i saw you there.
but you dissolved in smoke
like a giant ghost.
you float above the coast
but are nowhere.
you are nowhere.
and bright as possible the room lit up
in a lingering ray from passing sun.
gold consuming gray-
it rained all day.
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soft idiot Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
philadelphia indie rock folk and etc.
the world gets smaller
photo by vito scutti
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