1. |
Deer
03:40
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folding rain clouds
thought it out loud
i am the deer in the garden, cold and simple hearted
the flowers flex an awkward breeze
staring at pictures
fixate on the fixtures
it is a name on a paper
an awkward arrangement
the deer stops and lifts his head
i’m not going back to sleep
i’m not facing any fears
(what did you think you would say?
this fragile place could fade away.
fault your fingers and your fate.)
selfless image
saw myself in it
i am the deer and the headlights
staring at a stop sign
a thing that i will not recall
i don’t wanna learn another lesson,
i think i’ve learned enough of them!
awash in a consequential moonlight,
an open-handed fistfight,
i ended where i thought i’d left.
folding rain clouds
thought it out loud
i am the deer in the garden, cold and simple hearted
the flowers flex an awkward breeze
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2. |
Owl
02:57
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the world rages on
as i’m crying on the side of the road
the streetlights sing along
our bodies carry warmly through the cold
oh i cannot be taken care of
my burdens are mine and mine alone
asleep in the car
the stilly dust mocks my broken breath
my body plays its part
while the owl holds the stillness in his head
oh it cannot be left for nothing
i’m tired and i’m settled for myself
his wings cut the noise with careful silence
anemic for the night his feathers swell
oh i cannot be meant for nothing
tried and true- to set a heart in stone
the owl’s song destroys the fragile silence
his life is lived and shuffled off alone
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3. |
Rose and the Dollarbird
04:36
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oh Rose, I just don’t know
is this the kind of thing you pick up
just to let it go?
you’re never really here alone
there’s millions of people talking
one has gotta know
caught inside another year
this time i thought i’d really go
and face my fears
speaking so my words come clear
oh Dollarbird you know your worth
you’re never here
coming down i got turned around
oh Rose, I don’t think it’s gonna last
welcomed in my swollen din
well we both know that time don’t move that fast
gonna breathe every breath like its my last
Dollarbird your wings grow sore
by this time you’d have made a hundred miles
or maybe more
sticking out the sunday forum
in sunny light you trade your flight
for something warm
coming down i got turned around
oh Rose, I saw something flying past
welcomed in my swollen din
well we both know that time don’t move that fast
gonna breathe every breath like it’s my last
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4. |
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i couldn’t imagine my life without you
now i guess i will try to
sick for the future, flicking light from my wrist
limping lightly, fighting thoughts and throwing fits
i can’t make it make sense, it’s all irrational
i am bound by my mistakes to be alone
it’s all that i know
flashing a camera, flooding out the neon sky
ringing steady, focus film and close your eyes
looking backward the picture’s never really clear
was i talking to myself? were we really here?
i can’t make it make sense, it’s all irrational
i am bound by my mistakes to be alone
i can’t make another promise i can’t keep
finding photographs of things that i can’t see
i can’t make it make sense
i don’t understand it myself
we’re always making mistakes and we don’t wanna be alone
it’s all that i know
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5. |
Captured Light I
04:20
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now will i be alone?
it don’t matter where i started
it’s some cross to pull
to think the setting sun
is rising over the fetal farther
so i dream of you
so will i be myself?
ashamed by all good feeling
the light i could’ve caught
transfixed, a life in salt
we settle down in a sordid reeling
where i dream of you
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6. |
Songbird, Pt. 2
08:45
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do you still see yourself back there
in your dreams?
do you still find yourself writhing?
tear your sheets, go back to sleep
“there’s never any words to write,”
the songbird sighs
we were so young for so long
how wide our eyes
but we’re getting tired.
will you be my best friend
when there’s nothing left?
forgotten feeling in the springtime
in the growing leaves.
oh stay with me
with branches splitting open my head-
alive again!
i’m arraigned in the autumn light:
do i have to die to come back alive?
the song was stolen from my mouth
with steady aim i shot the songbird down
i didn’t mean no harm
still my beating heart
i’m an anvil stuffed with down
lightning with no sound
we were so young for so long
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7. |
My Head Became a Pool
03:22
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from way out here
i can see the ghost of the city floating distant
and drawing near
i can’t explain
something pretty and sweet to suck on
to ease my pain
cuz you get tired and your brain gets sore
when there’s nothing you’re fighting for
scattershot
i took the train into town last sunday
for something i forgot
thought i saw your face
but from this distance i can’t tell if you’re coming closer
or walking away
but you looked tired and your face is worn
is there something you’re fighting for?
a calling crashing from the sky
captured like the light
on the riverbed
well i broke my only rule
and my head became a pool
full of fallen leaves
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8. |
Songbird
03:33
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breathing fall, set to settle in
i recall a sneaking fell suspicion
tying cloth to hide your face in
looking back it’s now all brighter than before
i remember your face’s fell transmission
dug a hole for me to climb in
i thought i saw a songbird
i was only dreaming
thought i heard the sun there
mistaken for the singing
honest in the way of a song
sleeping with the space heater on
staring down a weathervane
hoping it could change my tricky luck
now the metal rooster won’t shut up
holding up a pellet gun, i aim
for the iron beak that leaves me restless
i miss and leave the live thing breathless
i thought i saw a songbird
i was only dreaming
thought i heard the sun there
mistaken for the singing
honest in the way of a song
sleeping with the space heater on
you never know
but that’ll show that pesky bird
we never learn
we just get better at getting hurt
i know i saw a songbird fall into the leaf bed
its hollow limbs went and my heart was set to breaking
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9. |
Between the Hours
03:06
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burning bright in the morning,
fighting with my heavy eyes.
i moved my hand away slowly,
sleep bearing slow in the light.
we were driving through time zones,
the hours dissolved in a huff.
a living anticipation-
we saw the future lit up
all at once.
the power’s out.
we’re filling up the space between the hours.
i saw my breath on the window,
a foggy flash in the pan.
i watch it fade away slowly
to the clarity time would demand.
i’m holding onto something i could never understand.
in stormy throws my hearing goes, i could never understand
all at once.
the wind blows on,
filling out the space between my fingers,
spitting out the words between my breath and
catching little lights inside the darkness.
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10. |
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i think i wanted something similar
resemblant pause but not the same
radiant fog, something beautiful
i thought i heard my name
familiar breath felt fond and dissonant
the words that struck your very soul
living in a tired accident
nothing left to let go
all singers are liars too
their loneliest lies get through to you
cold and dark, cold and dark
the loneliest flame in a frozen hearth
i’m like any other animal
i make a piece, i know it fits
then i wake up covered in gingko leaves
the rancid berries on my lips
all animals are liars too
their loveliest lies grow old and cruel
cold and dark, cold and dark
the faintest light in a broken heart
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11. |
Captured Light II
05:28
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i’ll dream of you
if i dream at all
drawing circles in the garden through the fall
in dewy light
enduring time
stretching corners into corners, a quiet smile
well i know loneliness
and i’ve made mistakes
i know the comfort that comes and raptures a certain fate
i found some solace there
a deer lifts his head
but i shot the songbird down and left his song for dead
now i sing his songs
i breathe his air
i stop and wonder were we ever really there?
some captured light
preserving sound
as i get older will you always be around?
cuz i’ve known loneliness
and i’ve made my peace
i let the feathers fall, i washed my knuckles clean
the light lost in building shine
can i fault my fate?
can we remember everything?
no life in salt sustained
But i won’t be alone
i’ve forgotten where i started
a sky full of moths
the scattered view of the untamed garden
now i won’t be alone
it don’t matter where i started
it’s my cross to pull
collecting scattered light
i plant my feet and hold my heart open
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soft idiot Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
philadelphia indie rock folk and etc.
the world gets smaller
photo by vito scutti
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