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Some Captured Light

by soft idiot

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pablo2541 Good golly, he's done it again! Another fantastic album from Justin Roth. So glad, so grateful to have stumbled upon this music. Favorite track: I Can't Make it Make Sense.
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1.
Deer 03:40
folding rain clouds thought it out loud i am the deer in the garden, cold and simple hearted the flowers flex an awkward breeze staring at pictures fixate on the fixtures it is a name on a paper an awkward arrangement the deer stops and lifts his head i’m not going back to sleep i’m not facing any fears (what did you think you would say? this fragile place could fade away. fault your fingers and your fate.) selfless image saw myself in it i am the deer and the headlights staring at a stop sign a thing that i will not recall i don’t wanna learn another lesson, i think i’ve learned enough of them! awash in a consequential moonlight, an open-handed fistfight, i ended where i thought i’d left. folding rain clouds thought it out loud i am the deer in the garden, cold and simple hearted the flowers flex an awkward breeze
2.
Owl 02:57
the world rages on as i’m crying on the side of the road the streetlights sing along our bodies carry warmly through the cold oh i cannot be taken care of my burdens are mine and mine alone asleep in the car the stilly dust mocks my broken breath my body plays its part while the owl holds the stillness in his head oh it cannot be left for nothing i’m tired and i’m settled for myself his wings cut the noise with careful silence anemic for the night his feathers swell oh i cannot be meant for nothing tried and true- to set a heart in stone the owl’s song destroys the fragile silence his life is lived and shuffled off alone
3.
oh Rose, I just don’t know is this the kind of thing you pick up just to let it go? you’re never really here alone there’s millions of people talking one has gotta know caught inside another year this time i thought i’d really go and face my fears speaking so my words come clear oh Dollarbird you know your worth you’re never here coming down i got turned around oh Rose, I don’t think it’s gonna last welcomed in my swollen din well we both know that time don’t move that fast gonna breathe every breath like its my last Dollarbird your wings grow sore by this time you’d have made a hundred miles or maybe more sticking out the sunday forum in sunny light you trade your flight for something warm coming down i got turned around oh Rose, I saw something flying past welcomed in my swollen din well we both know that time don’t move that fast gonna breathe every breath like it’s my last
4.
i couldn’t imagine my life without you now i guess i will try to sick for the future, flicking light from my wrist limping lightly, fighting thoughts and throwing fits i can’t make it make sense, it’s all irrational i am bound by my mistakes to be alone it’s all that i know flashing a camera, flooding out the neon sky ringing steady, focus film and close your eyes looking backward the picture’s never really clear was i talking to myself? were we really here? i can’t make it make sense, it’s all irrational i am bound by my mistakes to be alone i can’t make another promise i can’t keep finding photographs of things that i can’t see i can’t make it make sense i don’t understand it myself we’re always making mistakes and we don’t wanna be alone it’s all that i know
5.
now will i be alone? it don’t matter where i started it’s some cross to pull to think the setting sun is rising over the fetal farther so i dream of you so will i be myself? ashamed by all good feeling the light i could’ve caught transfixed, a life in salt we settle down in a sordid reeling where i dream of you
6.
do you still see yourself back there in your dreams? do you still find yourself writhing? tear your sheets, go back to sleep “there’s never any words to write,” the songbird sighs we were so young for so long how wide our eyes but we’re getting tired. will you be my best friend when there’s nothing left? forgotten feeling in the springtime in the growing leaves. oh stay with me with branches splitting open my head- alive again! i’m arraigned in the autumn light: do i have to die to come back alive? the song was stolen from my mouth with steady aim i shot the songbird down i didn’t mean no harm still my beating heart i’m an anvil stuffed with down lightning with no sound we were so young for so long
7.
from way out here i can see the ghost of the city floating distant and drawing near i can’t explain something pretty and sweet to suck on to ease my pain cuz you get tired and your brain gets sore when there’s nothing you’re fighting for scattershot i took the train into town last sunday for something i forgot thought i saw your face but from this distance i can’t tell if you’re coming closer or walking away but you looked tired and your face is worn is there something you’re fighting for? a calling crashing from the sky captured like the light on the riverbed well i broke my only rule and my head became a pool full of fallen leaves
8.
Songbird 03:33
breathing fall, set to settle in i recall a sneaking fell suspicion tying cloth to hide your face in looking back it’s now all brighter than before i remember your face’s fell transmission dug a hole for me to climb in i thought i saw a songbird i was only dreaming thought i heard the sun there mistaken for the singing honest in the way of a song sleeping with the space heater on staring down a weathervane hoping it could change my tricky luck now the metal rooster won’t shut up holding up a pellet gun, i aim for the iron beak that leaves me restless i miss and leave the live thing breathless i thought i saw a songbird i was only dreaming thought i heard the sun there mistaken for the singing honest in the way of a song sleeping with the space heater on you never know but that’ll show that pesky bird we never learn we just get better at getting hurt i know i saw a songbird fall into the leaf bed its hollow limbs went and my heart was set to breaking
9.
burning bright in the morning, fighting with my heavy eyes. i moved my hand away slowly, sleep bearing slow in the light. we were driving through time zones, the hours dissolved in a huff. a living anticipation- we saw the future lit up all at once. the power’s out. we’re filling up the space between the hours. i saw my breath on the window, a foggy flash in the pan. i watch it fade away slowly to the clarity time would demand. i’m holding onto something i could never understand. in stormy throws my hearing goes, i could never understand all at once. the wind blows on, filling out the space between my fingers, spitting out the words between my breath and catching little lights inside the darkness.
10.
i think i wanted something similar resemblant pause but not the same radiant fog, something beautiful i thought i heard my name familiar breath felt fond and dissonant the words that struck your very soul living in a tired accident nothing left to let go all singers are liars too their loneliest lies get through to you cold and dark, cold and dark the loneliest flame in a frozen hearth i’m like any other animal i make a piece, i know it fits then i wake up covered in gingko leaves the rancid berries on my lips all animals are liars too their loveliest lies grow old and cruel cold and dark, cold and dark the faintest light in a broken heart
11.
i’ll dream of you if i dream at all drawing circles in the garden through the fall in dewy light enduring time stretching corners into corners, a quiet smile well i know loneliness and i’ve made mistakes i know the comfort that comes and raptures a certain fate i found some solace there a deer lifts his head but i shot the songbird down and left his song for dead now i sing his songs i breathe his air i stop and wonder were we ever really there? some captured light preserving sound as i get older will you always be around? cuz i’ve known loneliness and i’ve made my peace i let the feathers fall, i washed my knuckles clean the light lost in building shine can i fault my fate? can we remember everything? no life in salt sustained But i won’t be alone i’ve forgotten where i started a sky full of moths the scattered view of the untamed garden now i won’t be alone it don’t matter where i started it’s my cross to pull collecting scattered light i plant my feet and hold my heart open

about

PRE-ORDER CASSETTE THRU OLIVER GLENN RECORDS: oliverglennrecords.bandcamp.com/album/some-captured-light

DEER MUSIC VIDEO:
youtu.be/dC3JoSnYY2g

Songs about birds and mammals mostly. Don't read too far into it. Places here and there. Early 2021 in a fit of depression, I thought I was done making records. The well was dry and I sunk into myself as far as I possibly could. Between then and now, I thought again- I made some new songs and demoed them all out and then re-recorded them into this resulting record. It's a silly thing to want to be an artist. It's a weird and difficult lifestyle that I don't understand but that I think I want regardless. Lots of feelings are contained here- disillusionment, depersonalization, hope and friendship. Imagined stories to explain emotions. I don't know what I hope, but I hope for something and that strikes me as important. I don't know where to start, so I guess I'll start here.

credits

released May 26, 2023

written, performed, recorded and mixed by Justin Roth

guitar on track 4 and keys on track 9 played by Mike Whalen

track 4 arrangement by Rob Blackwell, Eric O'Neill, Justin Roth, David Solomon, and Mike Whalen

mastered by Terrin Munawet @GBMystical

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soft idiot Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

philadelphia indie rock folk and etc.
the world gets smaller

photo by vito scutti

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